Up at 5

   
Right now I am sitting up in bed feeding Jonah and I'm about to fall over asleep. But I have this cute little baby attached to me! Man I was finally sleeping good baby, like in a deep sleep where you wake up dazed, (which doesn't happen much). This is real motherhood, you can't​ just say go back to sleep buddy, or in mine and others case hunny here you go feed him please, nope no boobies there. I just wish I could sleep a couple of nights without any interruption like none not even my husband snoring.

I seriously wish this a lot! I just want to sleep in my own bed and wake up naturally. And I think about how it use to be when we first got married. Or even before that. You know have myself a little pity party.

Here is what just ran threw my mind after complaining to myself this morning. And wow thank you Lord for showing me how loved I am and how You made me for such a time as this.

I use to not be needed.
I use to not be as loved.
I use to no be a nurse.
I use to not be a cook or house keeper.
A problem solver.
A teacher
I used to not get wet kisses
Or little hugs, play Barbie or trucks.
Hear little laughs, that echo through the house.
I use to not know what it feels like to have a strong loving man.

Seems​ like I would be lost if I went back to how it use to be. I wouldn't have as much love and all the blessings I have received.

This is not just with mothers everyone goes through this, everyone wonders what their life would be like if? Or how their life use to be. Sometimes so much so that we have missed out on all the love and blessings that we have right now. We wish we were someone else or had someone else's life, when ours is exactly what others may want and what we need .... Human nature! we always want what we don't have, the opposite looks more appealing at times. Open up your eyes and start seeing the beauty that surrounds you in small and large ways in your life every day. Even if you are struggling there is beauty from ashes. And new grace each morning. Thank him through it all.